"Create my own story": How Humphries redefined courage in sport

NBL star Isaac Humphries has reflected on “probably the hardest conversation I’ve ever had in my life,” recalling the moment he came out as gay to his Melbourne United teammates in 2022.

Speaking on The Imperfects podcast, Humphries detailed the intense lead-up to what would become one of the most powerful and defining moments in world sport.

“For about six months, my management and I planned this announcement because we wanted to do it right, and we wanted to make the most impact we could,” he said.

“I was put on house arrest pretty much for months. I wasn’t allowed to go out, couldn’t see guys, couldn’t do anything in case it sort of leaked around Melbourne or whatever.”

“So you wanted to do this on your terms, basically,” host Hugh van Cuylenburg asked.

“Yeah … create my own story,” Humphries said.

“Imagine if you were outed by the newspaper or something. Taking your power and just owning it was a really big part of my decision as well.

“I was able to tell my coach (Dean Vickerman) the week before, or a few days prior, the CEO (Nick Truelson) of the club, just so that people knew.

“Nick Truelson … he’s a friend of mine and an unreal, amazing human being. Dean Vickerman, head coach … it was one of the first times I’ve had a coach just be so respectful and so understanding. Or if he didn’t understand, he wanted to understand and was willing to go through all of this with me. It was unbelievable, and I couldn’t ask for a better situation to be in for this sort of thing.”

Humphries said that support meant the world.

“Yes, I was going to do it anyway, but it just made it so much nicer and more enjoyable. I never felt like it was a burden,” he said of Vickerman.

“At one point, the whole globe was looking at this and at Melbourne United. We had a lot of eyes on the club, and he never made me feel like it was a burden or distraction or anything like that. He just said, ‘Go for it. We support you. Absolutely, we support you.’”

Bringing in the cameras took Humphries' proud moment across the globe.

“I wanted to bring people into the room and show how difficult it can be having the coming out conversation, especially in front of your teammates, which not many people have ever done when you think about it,” he said.

“There was a team meeting. We were in our meeting room, and that’s not uncommon. We would always have team meetings. It wasn’t until I was sitting at the front and everyone was piling in that they were like, ‘Ice, what’s going on, man? What’s happening?’

“That’s when I just started to talk and share with them what was going on. Very multi-layered. I wanted them to know the backstory of it. I wanted them to understand why I was doing it, for what reasons, who I wanted to impact, and how we can all look at ourselves as athletes and try to make impact for others.

“There were points, other than just telling them I was gay, that I wanted to get out and be an example for everyone in the room to take on board and maybe see what lane they can find.

“I remember when people would nod, I’d sort of gravitate more towards them, just for comfort. There were people in the room I was nervous about, for sure, and very prepared for whatever came after that.

“(It was) probably the hardest conversation I’ve ever had in my life. Easily.”

Watch or listen to the full episode via the player above, or your favourite podcast provider.

But despite the fear, the reaction was nothing short of amazing.

“Nick, the CEO … they had made these shirts with a rainbow Melbourne United logo and wanted everyone to take a photo after in the shirts. I vetoed it. I said, ‘No. We’re not sure how this is going to go down. This is not what it’s about. I don’t want to do all of that.’

“So I said 'no'. We landed on just a couple of owners having a shirt photo, the captain Chris Goulding, and our coach.

“Someone had caught wind that there were shirts going around … I just watched every single player come in one by one and take a shirt and put it on, without even me saying anything.

“It became a part of our shirt rotation. We have our gear and we have to wear it every day, so there would always be someone in a rainbow M throughout the week.

“It was just awesome.”

Humphries said the moment had an incredible impact on his relationship with teammates.

“It was a lot to process. I was very emotional, and I felt very comfortable after all of that,” he continued.

“We all got closer. A lot of people said, ‘A lot of things kind of make sense now,’ as to why I was so isolated and so quiet. 'Maybe we can see a little bit more of Ice.'

“Even as the weeks went on, I had players ask me, ‘So are you dating anyone? What’s all this about?’ No one ever asked me about my personal life. I was not that guy. I was very private and kept it all separate for that reason.

“Just things like that. It just became the normality of it all. It became great to be a part of, and it made me feel very good and very welcome and very comfortable and appreciative.”

Humphries said that experience was one of the most memorable in his life, and he couldn’t be more thankful for the opportunity to come out in such a safe space.

“Of course I care what people think. Any human does. I can’t pretend that I don’t have thoughts about that. But I don’t care if people think I’m gay, because I am,” he said.

“So, whatever.”

Humphries became the first professional basketball player around the world to come out as an openly gay athlete.

Watch or listen to the full episode via the player above, or your favourite podcast provider.

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